It’s Okay to Fail

Psalm 51, I John 3:19-21

Dear God,

People tell me that it’s okay to fail, but it doesn’t feel okay.  I feel sad.  I feel as if I have let others down.  I feel as if I have let myself down.  I don’t like this feeling.  Mistakes.  Blunders.  Errors. Failures.

I suppose this failure, if you can call it that, has been building for months.  My decisions sometimes disappoint and anger other people.  Would I change those decisions if I could redo them?   I don’t know.  I cannot second guess that right now.  But I do know that I am sad.  I feel like I am a disappointment to others who depend upon me.  I feel as if I failed.  People tell me that it’s okay to fail.  It doesn’t feel okay.

Have I failed You?  Probably not?  I sense no condemnation from You.  But if I have, will You please forgive me?  I love You.  I need You.

What’s that?  Have I ever thought about all of the great people who have emerged from failure?   Okay.  Teach me.

Adam and Eve emerged from epic failure to establish the human race!  Noah got drunk after he rescued humanity from the great flood.  Abraham’s failures are well-documented: lying, sex with the wrong woman, almost killing his son. King David failed.  Murder, deception, sexual immorality, illegitimacy.  Failure.  Sin.

I guess I am in pretty good company.  I still don’t have to like it, do I?  So, what’s the point?  Do You still love me?  Accept me?  Can You still use me?  I feel like an epic failure.  I don’t like this at all.

It has been said that “Failure doesn’t have to be final..:”  “Fail forward...”  Cliche.

I hear you now.  “Trust me...”  Truth.  Rest.  Whispering hope.  Whisper it louder.  I need You right now.
Amen.