Fear of Failure

A fear of failure often dogs our steps.

Dennis F. Kinlaw, Sr. wrote: "There is a 'tide in the affairs of men' that if seized leads to greatness. If it is missed, one is left to wander. Opportunities do not stand waiting at the door. Are you among those who wander?"

Why do we often fail to seize the moment? Why do we often fail to sail the tide? Wy do we reject the opportunities?

When I was 6 years old I sensed God's call to preach and teach. I immediately accepted and embraced the call. I did not know rebellion was an option. That call has defined every choice that I have ever made. 

However, my hunger to obey God had a consequential dark side in my own psychology. It was a fear of failure. School came easily to me. I could get As and Bs with less work than many classmates. I was a quick study on most courses. As a firstborn child, I carefully controlled my world so that I could succeed. I avoided things that exposed my weaknesses. My brother was a great athlete. I followed sports closely, but apart from some pickup games, never sought to excel. Athletic aptitude was harder for me. Avoid failure. Focus upon what you do well. That was my thought.

As an adult, I have had a hard time accepting failure. Even performance that attains something less than perfection is difficult for me. I have had to learn to surrender these matters to God. But sometimes, I find myself worrying over them... to excess.

In recent years, I have learned that I lack the power to judge events in my life as good or bad. If I try to list the top five defining events in my life, I will inevitably identify events that I characterize as both good and bad. Then, when I ask myself about the bad things, I find myself identifying the good consequences that God has worked in my life both in and through events I identify as bad. I am not diminishing the presence or work of evil in the world in any way; however, I have found that surrendering my right to judge many of life's events as good or bad to God is freeing.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28 NKJV).

Only God can transform bad things into good. Only God can redeem consequences of evil events. Only eternity will reveal the eternal reality. Joseph identified with that eternal reality when he witnessed to his brothers.

"But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive" (Genesis 50:20 NKJV).

I serve a Lord who accepts me as I am. You do, too. He is ever working to transform me more and more into His likeness. I choose, by His grace, to embrace that journey of transformation. I am asking God to continue freeing me from my selfish assessment of my life as a success or a failure. Only He determines my final grade. 

Yes, I don't like failure. Of course, public failure is embarrassing, sometimes even humiliating. Teddy Roosevelt said: “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”

Lord Jesus, help me to pursue excellence for your glory. Deliver me from my fear of failure. Help me to "Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God" (William Carey). I love you and want to hear your welcoming words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Amen.