Anxiety

Matthew 6:25-34, Mark 9:14-29

Precious Lord,

I find myself grappling with paralyzing anxiety.  I recognize the anxiety as rooted in doubt and control.  My doubt is toward You!  My mind says, “NO!  I don’t doubt my Precious Lord!”  But my emotions deceive me, triggering adrenaline and tension throughout my body.  The emotional and physical responses trigger thoughts of worry and fear, which I recognize as stemming from unbelief.

I am used to controlling variables, communication, and even relationships in such a way as to enhance predictability and order.  I fear the unknown, so I try to control the present and the future. Oh, Lord!  Such control is dishonest and sinful!  I loathe it.  My feeble attempts to control everything not only result in choking the life out of relationships with others, but they demonstrate unbelief toward You!

Oh, Lord!  My unbelief disgusts me!  I abhor my self-imposed prison of anxiety.  Even now, amidst my heartfelt confession to You, I find myself anxious about my anxiety.  I am sorting out paths to fix myself.  Unbelief!  I don’t need more self-help fixes, drugs, or life-long psychotherapy.  I need You!

You promise to care for me.  Thank You.  I accept Your promise of care.  I accept Your care.  I refuse to define the parameters of Your care.  I refuse to impose upon You my attempts at controlling how You must care.  You care for the birds.  They make no plan for the future.  They don’t even seem to have the consciousness to worry about what may come.  They simply follow the instincts You gave them.  That is enough.

I choose to act on my instinctive hunger for You. The seventeenth century French philosopher, Blaise Pascal, said, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus.”  Precious Lord, fill my void.  Fill me with You.  Cast out worry, fear, anxiety, and unbelief.

The father brought his deaf, dumb, seizing son to Jesus.  You challenged him to believe.  The father’s tearful words are my words:  "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"  That day You set the son free. Precious Lord, set me free from any seed of unbelief that is crippling my life with doubt, fear, anxiety and control.  I choose to trust You!

In Your Precious Name,
Amen.