"I have to find myself"

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,

Dietrich Bonhoeffer felt stripped bare in a German prison. It was late in World War II when your servant was suffering in bondage, eventually condemned to death by hanging.  Prison gave him countless hours to think, write, and reflect. Certainly, your presence sustained him in those unending hours. 

From prison, Bonhoeffer wrote: "There is something more at stake than self-knowledge."

I can only imagine the self-reflection, personal insights, and psychological explanations for one's own identity, thoughts and behaviors that could be pursued in isolation. But it could prove utterly maddening. Yet, Bonhoeffer was not alone. You were with him. His writings expose his soul, his worship, and his surrender to your cross.

It seems that the individualism of the Western world has poisoned our thoughts with a narcissistic reflection that the individual is the center of the universe. The result is that billions of egocentric universes ridiculously revolve on the orb of our planet, each insisting upon its own veracity and authenticity.

But Bonhoeffer, a man of extraordinary self-knowledge and insight, proclaims: "There is something more at stake than self-knowledge."

The ancient Greeks proclaimed: "Know thyself."

The 1960's marked an era of American Baby Boomers seeking self-knowledge in an elusive quest to "find" themselves.

But, "There is something more at stake than self-knowledge."

Ultimately, my quest to know myself is a quest to find myself, and proves to be a wasted effort of self-definition. Definition demands an external point of reference.

You, alone, are that point of reference. You are my Creator, my God, my Savior, the One who knows me best. You know my failings, my weakness, my sin, yet You love me and seek to redeem my life. You seek to inform my identity at a depth that You alone know and understand. You seek to redefine my very perception of myself, not by looking at me more, but by turning my eyes to look upon You! Only in right relationship with You, may I discover who You intend me to become!

Hallelujah!

What hope! What joy! What promise!

So I turn afresh to You, Designer of my life, Master Architect of my purpose. Fulfill me in You.

In the Name of the One who knows me best, Abba Father,

Amen.