“If you will return, O Israel,” says the Lord, “Return to Me; And if you will put away your abominations out of My sight, Then you shall not be moved. 2 And you shall swear, ‘The Lord lives,’
In truth, in judgment, and in righteousness; The nations shall bless themselves in Him, And in Him they shall glory.”
3 For thus says the Lord to the men of Judah and Jerusalem: “Break up your fallow ground, And do not sow among thorns. 4 Circumcise yourselves to the Lord, And take away the foreskins of your hearts, You men of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem, Lest My fury come forth like fire, And burn so that no one can quench it, Because of the evil of your doings.”
My Precious Lord,
At the center of my personhood resides a moral warp. This inner curvature reaches out in a limited way, but turns right back in upon my self. It renders me small and self-contained. My egocentricity is more than an individual difference, a personality quirk or a trait. My egocentricity is central to my fallen, sinful character. It really is "all about me."
Deep within, I define myself by myself in a crazy-making cycle devoid of any healthy external referent. I define myself by my brokenness. The painful, socially unacceptable, culturally rejected, unpopular, and damaged parts of me are magnetically drawn to the locus of my soul. As life spins around me, I interpret its revolutions from my center of brokenness.
I stare into my shattered inner soul-mirror in hopes of seeing some image of myself reflected that would hint of worth. All I see is a caricature--a splintered reflection. I gaze. I examine.
I know You as my Savior. You assure me that I am Your child. I am a new creature. Guilt and condemnation are gone. But the doubts of self-definition linger. The shattered reflections of self haunt the dressing room of my inner world. In some ways, my frustration is greater now than before I found You. I see hope, peace, rest, and holiness as promised blessings in Your Word. I want what You appear to offer. But my soul is torn with self-consuming brokenness, contrasted with a desire to be consumed by You.
You tell me that You can circumcise my heart by faith. You can reach to the core of my identity, wielding the Divine flint, and cut away the rebellious, recalcitrant curvature of my nature. You can excise the gaping wound of my sinful inheritance, cleanse its inbred infection, and give me a heart of flesh. You can transform my nature from curved to aligned--aligned with You.
I trust You with the intimate journey into the deepest, most secret and hidden places of my soul--places I don't even know that exist. I trust You to cut, cleanse, and heal the curve that I could never straighten.
Circumcise my hearts from all other loves but Yours and Yours alone. Mark me at the core of my identity. Claim me as Your exclusive possession. Reshape the seat of my affections until You alone can occupy the throne of my heart. I lay myself before You for the Divine procedure. I have suffered the malady of the soul far too long. I embrace Your work of grace by faith. Circumcise my heart even now.
You are the Lover of my soul.
Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment